Today I'm going to get it right

I've decided to make a big change - to have a 'Positive Mindset' as the books say. I will visualise 'the me I want to be'. Hell, I can have it all, I can find that work / life balance, and I can be That Woman.

My new Balanced Woman Resolutions...

1. I will work my designated hours, nothing more, with a clear lunch break to let my mind rest
2. I will never get cross at my children, or if I do, I will not show it, I will stay calm
3. We will have a proper family day every weekend - an outing that I can take photos of to treasure for years to come (and perhaps share on Facebook)
4. I will spend more time phoning or making plans to see my family and friends and less time making hilarious quips on Facebook to people I hardly know 
5. I will keep a tidy house, and I will complete DIY tasks the same week as I start them. No more will you see B&Q bags still un-emptied and casually kicked to the side of the room, perhaps even making to the actual room they are intended
6. I will eat properly and be 'drink aware' and take up yoga, so I can show off my new body balancing skills as well as my happily balanced life skills
7. I will go to a personal shopper in an expensive department store and ask them to find my true, inner style-goddess who has been hiding under 'jeans and a top' for the best part of a decade
8. I will make myself presentable by actually washing/ styling my hair and putting make-up on before the school run instead of praying for rain so that I put my hood up and my head down
9. I will be socially organised and remember significant dates for the people I love. I will even buy birthday cards and presents way in advance instead of running to Tesco two hours before a party to see which box of chocolates / kids toy looks least like it came from a supermarket
10. Oh and I will recycle everything, start that compost bin, be a good neighbour, join the PTA and perhaps volunteer to organise a community event, and.. and... and spend quality time with our cat.

April fool!!

Fuck that unachievable dream. I'll be the same unbalanced mess I always am, winging it everyday and enjoying the chaos. On the rare occasions I get any one of those things 'right' I will celebrate those moments as exactly that - a lovely moment. But a woman (or man) that's perfect all the time is only found in Disney films.

Viva la Unbalanced Life!
(I must learn to speak another language too - I'll make that number 11.)